My Opinion on Bentinho Massaro as a Teacher and Others Like Him
My Opinion on Bentinho Massaro as a Teacher and Others Like Him
Inspired by a comment on my YouTube channel
The following was inspired by a comment I received on my recent YouTube video “I Got Blocked by Bentinho Massaro | The Rolling Stone Exposé | Where have I been?” And I have included my reply at the bottom of this post which I hope speaks for itself.
I found writing that reply a journey in itself and I’m sharing because that’s what this blog is about: my journey. Thanks for reading.
My Opinion
In my opinion teachers like Bentinho offer spiritual bypassing on a scale that is destructive, unbalanced, and dangerous. Partly because he clearly states that his teachings are all anyone could ever need.
He encourages a leap in consciousness and perspective that humans are not ready to make. Maybe they shouldn’t at all, ever, but I don’t know about that. He teaches about love and wisdom. And he is clearly highly intelligent, and extensively self-educated in enlightenment teachings of past masters; gurus; traditions; and thought schools.
But I do not see, or feel love and compassion in his teachings. Instead it feels performed, and dry. His teachings are so one sided that it’s almost a complete denial of the feminine spiritual path; a denial of humanity; a denial of decency, and basic human morality.
I have been there too whilst following him (and others). I have held those truths and wafted gracefully empty up in the clouds whilst my body, and human mind suffered greatly my abandonment. Until in time I arrived at some kind of breaking point(s) where I was able to realise that I was still unconsciously (via self-realisation practices) denying that I AM a human. These traumatic breaking points are still occurring within me as I realise what’s been happening.
We are all holding onto these patterns. And I am glad the universe is showing me step-by-step how I might let go of my own abusive patterning, through receiving comments like this, and saying No, for example. I pray that I do not hurt others along the way, but I make mistakes daily. In the meantime, as others display this behaviour towards me or those that I love, I will say No, and Stop. This is a new part of my journey and I am finding it very challenging to Speak in a way I haven’t done before.
So, as one of his online followers, he has misled me, lied to me, and misrepresented himself to me. He has harmed me. As hard as it is for me to admit, it’s true! I am in my own way, one of his victims. I can’t deny it anymore. And he most likely hardly even knows I exist. And there are many, many more people out there just like me who were harmed from a distance.
And what about all those people over the years who met him; knew him; worked with him; did business with him; crossed his path – and regretted it? What about his girlfriends; benefactors; friends; staff members; and volunteers? The whistleblowers who risked themselves, and the ones who can never speak up? All those people we will never know? People who died? What about them?
I want justice for them.
Without justice, how can we have the enlightened civilisation Bentinho suggests is possible?
It is my most sincerest wish that he faces actual legal due process and justice. I want him to be given a chance to defend himself against the evidence and testimony of good people who just wanted to heal, or do some good in the world. And I want him to be held fully accountable in a grounded, real way. Some wafty idea of karmic balancing isn’t enough any more. He must be held responsible for his actions. It is up to us to do that. In the meantime, it’s trial by Internet of his Peers because it’s the only justice anyone has right now.
Also, he has since lied publicly (in the Rolling Stone article), and I have witnessed enough ‘irregularities’ over the years for the veil to finally crumble. In my opinion, he is starting to make mistakes and reveal himself as a spiritual con artist. I have seen enough truth to realise that he isn’t what he says he is, not at all. And I see that a big part of my pain in recent years was the cognitive dissonance I was in whilst following him and his unbalanced teachings.
In my opinion, he is dangerous, and needs to be stopped. He is displaying an alarming dismissal of accusations, and is leaning into grandiosity as some kind of implied defence, or justification, or response.
That was the post.
Setting Boundaries
Again, I’m sharing because this is an important part of my journey. It is not to draw attention to an individual, but rather to highlight a very common and toxic way of thinking that’s prevalent in the spiritual community. It is simply to say No, and to identify abuse; victim shaming; gaslighting; and toxic spirituality, no matter how small, or subtle it may be. This came to me, and so I am drawing up some boundaries for myself and the way I would like to see community made safe for those that are healing.
Here is the comment
My reply
Hi. I have held back from replying until now because I have been gaslit many times in my life and it has taken some courage to face your comment head on. The main thing I want to say that’s really important for me is that it is not ok for you to offer me unasked advice; coaching; teaching; ‘love’; or ‘healing’. This is a clear red flag for me, and although this is quite common in community, your comment goes a little too far. I don’t know you, and I didn’t ask you for that.
There are other things I want to say if you can take the time to listen. Maybe you will read this with an open heart, and mind. If not, that’s fine by me, and I wish you well.
I want to point out that I am very much still dealing with some very intense trauma, and issues with cognitive function, as well as periods of confusion. So these words took some considerable effort. I am open to an honest and direct, no-BS conversation. If you want to reply, you are welcome to, but please take the time to communicate clearly and leave any spiritual love-and-light messages at the door. If you choose to response in a coded, or passive-aggressive manner I will see it, but I will not respond. If you want to tell me I’m wrong, or mistaken, please do so directly.
Thank you. So..
Maybe you genuinely think you are helping me, but from your tone, and words, I am identifying some other more subtle red flags. I am writing them out for myself and my own clarity. But also for any passers-by to see where I’m coming from and how I wish to set boundaries for myself in my life. And for other people who comment here on my blog, in the future.
I want to identify, and clarify some of the things you are saying, and the way you are saying them.
1. You appear to be indirectly defending Bentinho, and you seem to be skirting around the fact that he has been credibly accused of some very serious crimes. You said that his teachings will “stir up a lot of stuff”, rather than answering a main topic of the video, which is that he seems to be an abuser, and unfit to teach. You have stopped short of actually saying he has done nothing wrong. But if you are defending him, or believe him innocent, then why not just say that?
2. You are papering over my words with unbalanced enlightenment teachings. Almost like putting words into my mouth. You acknowledge the fact that I have clearly, and directly spoken about my own responsibility. But you are doubling down on this being all about me, “it is all YOU in the end”. You are speaking to me as if I am a child; or a potential client; or that you know me better than I know myself. Which is fine if that’s what you do think privately. But for you to express that to me is unwelcome, and in a word: gaslighting.
3. “No one is to blame for our narcissistic experiences”, “they have their own accountability for their actions, so you don’t have to worry”. This is enabling abusers, and undermining the agency, and rights of victims to say No, or Stop; or to seek justice. This is an abusive statement in itself.
4. “You agreed to it on a Soul level. That is taking responsibility.” Yes, maybe! This was me, at some higher level, or pre-incarnate level, yes I agree that’s possible. But it does not matter right now! It’s a teaching. It is not my experiential truth. I don’t know that for a fact, and neither do you. More importantly, the responsibility for abusing others, is all Bentinho’s. And all the other abusers, narcissists, and manipulators out there? It’s all on them. Maybe they were programmed through trauma, maybe they were unconsciously acting out some learned pattern. What happened to them also is wrong, but it’s their business, even if I feel compassion for that. The man who abused me as a child? That is on that man! It is not on me, and it is never for me to accept any responsibility for that. That is for my higher power, or for God, or whatever.
5. “I think the confusion comes in when we define negative experience as ‘negative’ - whereas it’s simply catalyst for growth”. Does this statement honestly feel like the whole, complete truth to me? No! Abuse is wrong. The action of one abusing another is wrong. Humanity has agreed that it is wrong! We have laws that punish it, and we have systems that prevent it. Why? Because is is wrong! Yes, it was a catalyst. But yes it is wrong! Any confusion I have felt about that is because I was gaslighted about it by unbalanced spiritual teachings.
Finally, I would like to ask you if you have taken the time to read, and listen to the whistleblowers' first-hand testimony and allegations against Bentinho? And any follow-up articles? It is quite a large body of information, and I found highly worthwhile diving into despite how reality breaking it was for me. It is extremely compelling information.
[Above] is a short article I wrote about Bentinho’s teachings. It’s partly inspired by your comment, but also by many others I have seen on the subject since the whistleblowers came forward in February.
Regards
Aeryn
#BentinhoMassaro #Gaslighting #ToxicSpirituality #Enlightenment